Colorado

Sunday, August 1st

Shon, Ella, Lexi , and I traveled to Estes Park, Colorado the past few days where we spread Avery's ashes in Rocky Mountain National Park. Rocky Mountain National Park was one of her favorite places on this Earth. While I know that nowhere here can even come close in comparison to the beauty of Heaven, I like to think the Rocky Mountains are a very close second.

What you do with your loved ones after they pass is a very personal decision. For me, I couldn't stand the thought of placing Avery in a grave in a cemetery. I didn't want one place serving as constant reminder of what we lost on this Earth. So instead, we chose to remember and celebrate a place where Avery lived!

Last year, when we thought Avery was cancer free, I had an internal nagging to go on a trip. My mind kept saying "What if this is the last chance you have". With no hesitation and less than a month to plan, Shon agreed to take a 17 day, 14 state, 4000+ mile trip during the middle of a pandemic. And the trip was as close to perfect as you could get! In Colorado last year, Avery hiked, climbed rocks, climbed trees, swam, waded in icy cold rivers, ate ice cream, and even finished a 5k. Avery lived bigger than she ever had before! And less than 2 weeks after the trip ended, we learned that the cancer was back and had ravaged Avery's body. We were fortunate that that was not our last trip, but it was the last trip we ever took with the hope and peace of mind that Avery had beat cancer here on Earth.

So for the past 4 days, we hiked the same hikes(and some new ones). We climbed rocks, waded in rivers, ate ice cream, and even ran the Rocky Mountain 5k again in Avery's honor. We spread her ashes in the most beautiful of places. And for just a few short days, we experienced our first moments of joy since Avery passed. We could breathe just a tiny bit easier(despite the altitude)... the weight on our chests was just a tad bit lighter... and the tears flowed just a little less often.

As wonderful at this trip was ,I can't help but thinking on all the things that it wasn't:

- A final goodbye : This occurred when we left Avery's physical body at the hospital

- Her final resting place: I fully believe this is in Heaven and nowhere near this Earth

- Closure: This will never come until we are reunited with Avery again in Heaven

This was simply a step in a long line of steps that no family should ever have take. This was simply the next step that had to be taken, but I fully believe this was what Avery would have wanted.

#brAvery ❤️